Saturday, September 26, 2009

Deeds

As Trevor learned on his mission. Fortunately, he was able to learn this particular one secondhand. One of Trevor's companions was out on the streets of France, trying to show the brotherly love, when he made the mistake of hugging a "sans domicile" - also known as a bum. Shortly after this incident, he found out he has fleas. They had to fumigate the whole apartment and have everything dry cleaned or steam cleaned, as well as have one of those "special" baths. You know, when your mom uses that word "special" and it's not a good thing.

Not only that, this Elder was too cheap to dryclean his suit jacket, so they went through this whole ordeal only to have the fleas live on in the suit jacket.

But he lived to tell the tale. Moral of the story: Hug a bum, get fleas.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mush

What do you get when you let your husband make your baby's food, and he decides to...


... you mix sweet potatoes and chicken, with veggies and pasta? Well, as Trevor discovered the day before yesterday while feeding Grant and thinking that mixing everything would be a great idea...

You get something that tastes an awful lot like cat food.

Rollin'

Yesterday, Grant discovered that he can get around by rolling! He rolled all over the living room, exploring the bottom of the couch, the curtains, etc. He is also fascinated with light switches and outlets, naturally. Anything dangerous is the most entertaining. I expect he'll be crawling any day now! Which is exciting, sad, and worrisome all at the same time.

Life will never be the same.

Pains

While I try to be very positive on the blog, this post is not positive. Be warned. Only Trevor knows the full extent of what I live with day by day, until this post.

Since I was a teenager, I have had frequent headaches, which have never reacted very well to medication, but have been tolerable. Lots of people have headaches, right? Well, when we got married and moved to Vancouver, they started becoming worse and worse, and, to top it off, the headacheS has become headache, singular - I have had one headache for a couple years now, nonstop, the tension kind. I have also begun experiencing frequent migraines on top of the tension headache. Since moving back to Lethbridge, the intensity of the tension headache has increased, and I feel as though I could take migraine medication at least once a day. I currently have a prescription for the migraines that are the kind that dissolve on your tongue, which cost $16/pill (fortunately, we have 80% coverage, but they are still expensive). Those take the edge off of the migraines when they are really bad. Taking 1200mg of ibuprofen takes the edge off, some days, too. Nothing else - not Tylenol 3, not regular Tylenol, not Diclofenac, but that's all I've tried. Some days I feel quite hopeless about it.

I have been regularly seeing Trevor's uncle, a chiropractor, since we moved back to Lethbridge, and I only need to see him once a week right now, so all is as best as it can be with my head and neck. They have been messed up since a few car accidents a couple years ago. I also began seeing a massage therapist, with very disappointing results. He expected to be able to get rid of my headaches, with very little success. In fact, he was discouraged in himself and told me he usually gets much better results. The last time I saw him was three weeks ago, on September 2, and just after the massage I felt better, and then as I was paying I realized I felt exactly the same as when I had walked in. So I abandoned that whole track.

This same evening, I developed terrible chills as I was going to bed and couldn't stop shaking for two hours, during which I drifted in and out of sleep. The disturbing thing was that I didn't have a fever. My head hurt with a vengeance, And I was miserable, nauseous, lying in bed, crying, hating life, wishing for a big axe to swing down from the heavens and cut my head off, the Second Coming, a plane crash in our bedroom - anything to stop the pain. When I started to feel numbness in my fingertips, I called the health line, and they, of course, told me to go in to the ER. I drove myself.

Once there, I didn't have to wait too long and was skipped ahead of three or four people who were there before me. The doctor talked to me, and I told him my quality of life was very poor due to the headaches, told him the history, symptoms, blah blah blah. They gave me Gravol for the nausea, and two other meds, one of them started with C. By this time I was happy for anything. One of the meds they gave me made me tired, and I was already half asleep as it was 3am by the time I got the meds. I slept a little, and the nurse asked me if I wanted morphine. I said no, since it makes me very ill. I got home at 6am and crawled back into bed.

The next day, I was tired, but otherwise, the meds kept the pain at bay. It was back by dinnertime.

The ER doctor sent me for a CT scan the following Thursday, and my doctor's office called me last week to tell me all was normal on the scan. Big help. I'm going back, again, to see my doctor on Monday.

I feel as though I need to get this solved to move on with life - having chronic pain is something that cannot be understood until it is experienced. I had little sympathy for those who complained of chronic pain before this experience. Relentless pain like this is absolutely exhausting. Pain takes a shocking amount of energy and it frequently leaves me feeling drained physically and mentally. I understand Dr. House better, that's for sure.

Aside from the desire I have to be able to accomplish more in a day once I have the energy back that the pain is sucking up now, I also need to resolve this pain before I have another baby, so that I can get through the pregnancy, and because I won't be able to take anything for the pain during the pregnancy.

Could it be that all these things are to give me experience, like the scriptures say? To teach me something - empathy, what suffering is, how to endure? To liken my experience to the Savior's, when he felt more pain that anyone on earth will ever feel? The scriptures say "The Son of Man hath descended below them all - art thou greater than He?" Certainly I'm not greater than Him, and if the Lord sees fit to allow the suffering, then I look to His example - hoping that this cup will pass from me, soon, but if not... let my will be turned to the Father's will for me.

How grateful I am that my husband, Trevor, holds the same priesthood that was held anciently by Adam, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, and the Savior, and that he can administer blessings to me by that priesthood. I know that the Lord can heal me, and that I will look back on this as something which helped me to grow - but I eagerly wait for the trial to end, just the same.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Interruptions...

Poor Taylor Swift.  Now I know how she feels.

Some people need to learn some manners - especially when on TV.

That is all.

Eight

My little boy is getting so big.  He was eight months old on Tuesday, so I guess I'm two days late on posting this entry, but my blogging is sporadic at best.  Since he didn't need to see the doctor or get shots this month, I don't know exactly how much he weighs right now... wait, we bought a bathroom scale.  Let me go weigh him.


Okay, he weighs 18 lbs.  That puts him in the 25th percentile.  I'm so glad he's just a small guy.  He's not crawling or scooting around yet, which is great by me since we'll have to get a gate once he starts motoring, and he'll be making messes left, right and center.  He definitely wants to crawl - when he's on his tummy he's trying hard to figure out how to get somewhere and getting frustrated.  But I'm happy to have him stationary!

He's also mastering the pincer grip - picking up cheerios, cooked veggies, bits of cheese, etc., between his fingers and thumb.  I absolutely love watching him pick the food up between his index finger and thumb and try to get it in his mouth - I could just about burst with pride when he gets it in.  He gets better every day.  It's unbelievable to think of how he has grown from a helpless newborn into this wonderful little boy who can already feed himself (a little).

Something I am extremely grateful for is that I don't have to break him of a bottle.  How blessed I am that I was able to exclusively breastfeed him since he was born. We did leave him with sitters a couple times with some expressed milk in a bottle, and he drank it, but it never became habit to have the bottle.  I am SO fortunate that I have not had to work and that breastfeeding has been so wonderful.

And for the last couple months, since he started eating solids, I've been giving him water out of these cups.  The shape seems to work great for him, and they are cheap, so if I leave them behind somewhere it wouldn't be a big deal.  I do wish they had a lid though.

I'm just beginning to look around for the kind with the straw, which he should be able to get the hang of quickly now that he's eight months.  But I've only seen the fancy insulated kind, and I do not want to spend that kind of money on one cup.  Another reason I'm glad I chose the cheap ones is that I just recently found out that some kids who drink from the cups with the valve develop a tongue thrust when they use their tongues to stop the flow, and then have difficulty speaking.  Hooray for the cheap cups!

We also have a new rule.  Grant needs to eat at least one full jar of fruit before bed so that he doesn't get up to eat at 5 or 6am.  He ate lots of fruit last night before bed and then didn't get up until 9 today.  Thank goodness!

And he is getting his first two teeth!  The front two on the bottom, just as expected.  He was not feeling great when they were cutting through the gums, and had a very stuffed up nose for a few days, but he seems to be feeling much better the last couple days and especially this morning.  His little teeth are so cute!  I can't wait to get some pictures of him when they come all the way up!

It is SO wonderful being at home with Grant all the time.  I love him so very much.  He brings so much happiness to Trevor and me.  Now that he's here we just can't believe we ever lived without him.  Definitely, people should have children because they want them, but having always wanted them, I can't imagine never having him.  There are no words to express how much I love him.  We are SO glad he came to be in our family and that Heavenly Father sent him to us.

Thank heaven for little boys!